Signs

I'm taking about two minutes out of my studying tonight to write this. This past weekend, I have noticed some signs that I have become a slave to school. My fiance Jim would probably laugh right now if he were reading this but seriously, I could not go home with a clear conscious to see my Grandma in the hospital because I knew I had papers and an exam to study for. I could not even spare 45 minutes with Jim knowing that we won't see very much, if any, of each other at all this week before he flies down to Florida for his conference. I understand that school is why I am here, but I hate that it has began to run and dictate my life. Part of the issue is that I see the looks on my parent's faces and get their grumblings when I come home. I try to explain to them why I can't come home, or why I can only stay for a short while, but they have never experienced this sort of extreme classwork before. I feel like I'm dissapointing people all the time because of school stuff that I don't even care to do anymore. Part of it is, that already, I am feeling the burn out that is caused by nearing the end of the semester. Part of the problem is that I can't focus which is causing me to take longer on everything; for example, I haven't finished anything this entire weekend!!!!! Which means that I have three papers and a chem exam to do... plus a little bit of homework in every class left. I guess I just wish I could divote more time to things I love instead of school all of the time. School comes first... but it shouldn't be ahead of everything in my life.