Forty-Miles of Thoughts

Yesterday I went for a bike ride. I normally ride on the Weouwash Trail and do about 16 miles in all. Yesterday, however, I rode about 12 miles out and thought to myself 'I'm only three miles away from a possible 30 mile goal... I can do it.' So, I did it and when I got there, again, I thought to myself 'you're almost to Appleton... just five more miles, the sun's still up in the sky and wouldn't it be cool if you came back and could say 'I just biked 40 miles in roughly three hours??!!''

Fourty miles not only gives you the wooded scenery of the Wisconsin back country and all its creatures (including lots and lots of bugs) but it gives you an awful lot of time to think. I sorted out my thoughts on my mom and dad giving Jim and I a difficult time about the wedding plans and about making it all the way through my degree to eventually teach. Mostly, I thought about Jim and why I can be so emotional sometimes. I thought to myself 'why do you cry sometimes... it's not sad crying at all, so why do you do it?' My immediate response was 'because I am happy and have never loved someone as much as I do Jim'.

When you've never attempted something so physical as a 40-mile bike ride and haven't ridden a bike in a few weeks, the farthure along your goal becomes, the easier it is to quit and turn back. Those last few miles out were the hardest and the slowest. But I finally did it and then the real difficulties came. I was unnoticably dehydrated, felt sick, and worse yet... I didn't realize the sun was setting and I was out in the middle of nowhere. 'Crap'. I was exhausted and I had 20 more miles to go to get back home. 'Arg!' I had no light, no phone, and no change to call anyone. Needless to say I had more than enough inspiration to keep trekking as quickly as I possibly could to get home.

I just wanted to see something recognizable.... the cows I had passed earlier, the highway, any kind of civilization. I wasn't worried yet... the sun hadn't set and I budgeted my time against it setting. Luckily there were still a few stragglers like me on the trail... that soon ended when the sun eventually did set and dusk night-lighted the sky. I tried to think of things to keep focused and not let my immagination bike off without me... did some math in my head, sang the choruses to a few songs I could remember... and I thought about the one person I would give anything to see at that moment--Jim. I wondered if he liked the movie he went to see with his old friend and I wondered if he wouldn't mind me coming by just to see him if I got home that night. My thoughts betrayed me and I wondered without a light if I would be able to see the path in the darkness. Luckily, the real darkness came about seven miles from Oshkosh. I wanted to get off the trail and I wanted to see Jim. Bugs had been all over me and the worst part about biking at night is that you can't see the hoards of them flying at head-level on the path in front of you. I felt as though I was blinded by the night as well as the bugs.

I eventually got off the trail and was back in the city with lights and with people out walking dogs and babies. My hall was another mile up the street at the top end of campus and when I got there, hopped off my bike, it wasn't until then that I realized just how much pain I was really in. Even in high school after the first few tennis and softball practices where they make you run your butt off, I wasn't a tenth as sore after those practices as I was now. I was able to see Jim that night and told him of my adventures. I've never felt so relieved and comforted being with him that night and was just so glad to see him again.